Sunday, October 19, 2008

Why I am voting Democrat....

Why I'm voting Democrat:

I'm voting democrat because Barbara Walters is my idol and so is P.Diddy.

I'm voting Democrat because English has no place being the official language in America.

I'm voting Democrat because I'd rather pay $4 for a gallon of gas than allow drilling for oil off the coasts of America.

I'm voting Democrat because I think the government will do a better job of spending my money than I could.

I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq, I know the Islamic terrorists will stop trying to kill us because they'll think we're a good and decent country.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe people who can't tell us if it will
rain in two or three days, can now tell us the polar ice caps will
disappear in ten years if I don't start riding a bicycle, build a windmill or inflate my tires to proper levels.

I'm voting Democrat because it's alright to kill millions of babies as
long as we keep violent, convicted murderers on death row alive.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe businesses in America should not be
allowed to make profits. Businesses should just break even and give the
rest to the government so politicians and bureaucrats can redistribute the money the way they think it should be redistributed.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe guns, and not the people misusing them, are the cause of crimes and killings.

I'm voting Democrat because when someone with a weapon threatens my family or me, I know the government can respond faster through a call to 911 than I can with a gun in my hand.

I'm voting Democrat because oil companies' 5% profit on a gallon of gas are obscene, but government taxes of 18% on the same gallon of gas are just fine.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four elitist liberals should rewrite the Constitution every few months to suit some fringe element that could never get their agenda past voters.

I'm voting Democrat because illegal aliens are not criminals, are not sucking up resources through government aid, hospital services, education,
or social services, but are just people trying to make a better life by coming to America illegally. We can't blame them for that, can we?

I'm voting Democrat because the same teacher that didn't teach my child to read can reasonably educate them about sex.

I'm voting Democrat because my trial lawyer's crippling multi-million dollar lawsuits against doctors, hospitals, drug companies, and HMO's will make health insurance and medicine much more affordable.

I'm voting Democrat because Al Sharpton, Louis Farrakhan, and Jesse Jackson will end racism once and for all.

I'm voting Democrat because Christians in the Republican Party are intolerant, theocratic warmongers and atheists like William Ayers have never hurt anybody.

I'm voting Democrat so that no family member of mine will die in a hospital bed. They will still be waiting in line for Obama's socialized medicine, so they will never actually make it into a hospital bed.

I'm voting Democrat because I like eminent domain and big business and government kicking me out of my home and taking my land.

I'm voting Democrat because everyone knows that raising taxes at the top won't hurt people at the bottom.

I'm voting Democrat because skin color and good oratory skills are more important than judgment and experience.

I'm voting Democrat because protecting barren wasteland is more important than energy indepedence.

I'm voting Democrat because my college professor told me that America is evil and should give up its place in the world.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that Cuba, Russia, and China should be on the United Nations Human Rights Council.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that everyone is essentially good -- even people like Ahmadinejad who call for the destruction of Israel. He just needs a little understanding.

I'm voting Democrat because we should all be forced to drive ugly cars with the horsepower of a riding lawnmower.

I am voting Democrat because I believe in change; although I don't know WHAT the change will be, or HOW it will happen, AND I am pretty sure that I won't WANT to actually change anything I do, but still....I believe in change.

I'm voting Democrat because the government knows how to raise children better than parents do.

I'm voting Democrat because I want the rich to work harder, give me their money, and pay for my services so I don't have to.

I'm voting Democrat because I don't give to charity or do volunteer work and then I complain about how selfish everyone else is.

I'm voting Democrat because I've seen welfare help so many poor people become self-sufficient and upwardly mobile.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm not driven enough to realize my dreams without the government holding my hand the entire way.

I'm voting Democrat because I want America to be Europe's prosthetic limb.

I'm voting Democrat because I think we all should be equal...equally unhappy and unsuccessful.

I'm voting Democrat because life just isn't fair and I deserve what other people have without working for it.

I'm voting Democrat because I like hearing the word "Change" 50 million times in presidential debate, seeing the word on celebrities' t-shirts and bags, on signs outside of million dollar houses, and know that the only change that is going to happen is that I'm going to work 40 hours a week and not even see a penny of my paycheck because taxes will go through the roof!!! YAY!!!!

I'm voting Democrat because Barack Obama is better than you, and he knows it!

I'm voting Democrat because I like how democrats can cause financial crises' like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and have the temerity to blame them on Republicans.

I'm voting Democrat because Obama was endorsed by Hamas and terrorists endorsements are a must to achieve world peace.

I am voting Democrat since I believe those who are lazy, druggies, high school drop outs, etc. should be entitled to the money I wake up every morning and work my ass off to make!

I'm voting Democrat because fire can't melt steel.

I'm voting Democrat because for some reason "change, change, change" the mantra for the obama, since he won't explain what 'change' is...i guess he's asking for parking meter fare?...i have three quarters in my wallet.

Im voting democrat because it's the COOL thing to do. I'm hip and in the majority.

Im voting Democrat because I listen to and believe all the celebrities/actors who so passionately want Obama to win because I can't think for myself at all. The same celebrities who WE make rich because we GO SEE their movies and watch their T.V. shows put millions of dollars into their pockets! but...these multi-million dollar celebs are so disheartened by AMERICAN ways and the capitalistic economy we have and the world will come to and end if another Republican comes into office...hmmmmm...

I'm voting Democrat because I'm a dumbass and because "Hillary said so"

I'm voting Democrat because I won't be subjected to any criteria for meeting U.S. terrorists and having a cool-aid with any of them, and one last critical factor.

I'm voting Democrat because of the War on Terror. We have not been attacked once since Sept. 11, 2001, and that was caused by Bill Clinton, but I still don't feel safe.

I'm voting Democrat because communist economics always work. Look how well off the Soviet Union is right now. That wall in Berlin has never looked better.

I'm voting Democrat because I agree with Joe Biden, that it really is patriotic to pay more taxes. So I'm going to pay a "direct tax." Instead of wasting time giving it to the government for redistribution, I will give my money to derelicts who loiter outside of liquor stores and methadone clinics. That's where it ends up anyway. YES WE CAN ... screw up this country like never before.


Anonymous said...

BRAVO!!! Well written in true form. I am a democrat that appears to be a little smarter then most and am not easily impressed by the word "CHANGE" or lack of. So maybe there are a few Americans left that can see the real picture here and that is to vote for McCain/Palin or we will be saying High Obama to the master!!

Thanks & GOD BLESS AMERICA we need it.

Anonymous said...

This is such a good reminder of why I left Xenia after high school.

There's a real world out here, y'all, where we really enjoy diversity and work well together.


average white guy for Obama/Biden.


Anonymous said...

I could pick all of this apart, but this pretty much sums it up:

"I'm voting Democrat because we should all be forced to drive ugly cars with the horsepower of a riding lawnmower."

You spoiled little brat. Get a grip on reality. Your SUV does not in anyway equal freedom or liberty or whatever bull you're trying to equate this statement to. By driving a small fuel efficient car you not only look like less of an ass to the general public, but you are being a good citizen of this planet. America has 5% of the world's population and uses 30% of its energy, and it's all because of this 'me me me' mentality you have. It's sickening.